I went to a meeting today and I did not like it. I don't know if it's because there were mostly men there, or what, but I wasn't feeling it. It was kind of difficult because my baby needed a diaper change so I took her out in the hall and changed her diaper, and her clothes because she went through her clothes. Then, as soon as I went back in, she did it again all through her clothes and up her back. So, again, I went out and changed her and had to put the other clothes back on because they weren't as bad. My sponsor (just got her as a sponsor last night--I'll write about it later), came with me and helped me clean up the major mess. So then, I went back in and then my baby started fussing so I put her on my shoulder and stood up and calmed her down. Then I sat back down and she fell asleep on my shoulder. I felt hot because of my scarf and I felt like I didn't really know what to say when it was my turn and I wish I wouldn't have said anything. I just didn't feel comfortable. I definitely like the all women's meetings so much more.
I just don't think I'll go back to that meeting again. I felt like, "why am I here?" Oh well, it's part of the process I guess.
I dont know why i am so insecure. this week has been really hard as far as self confidence goes. Every conversation has been so hard for me. I feel so insecure about my face, my smile, the way I look. AHHHH! It's so frustrating. It creates the feeling that makes me think, "I just need a glass of wine." Why?! Why?!
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