Now

I went to a meeting today.  When I walked in the door, I went to the bathroom and turned the light on and set the carseat down.  Thoughts ran through my head like crazy, "I think I could try to drink normally", "I really shouldn't be here,"  "I will never get to have fun again," "why did I start coming to these meetings," "I'm not an alcoholic".  Then I took a deep breath and reminded myself of the reality.  I picked up the baby and went downstairs.

The first woman to speak said that she wishes so badly would have stopped drinking when her kids were younger.  This was good to hear and made me think now is the best time.  I am preventing my children from having hard memories of their drunk mom sneaking alcohol.

There was a new woman there today.  She is probably in her forties or fifties maybe.  She has grown kids.  She has recently decided to stop drinking.  When I looked at her I thought, "I'm so glad that I am not waiting that long."  It was a good reminder that now is the best time to take control of this issue.